A Good Heart
by theporchlife
Summary: A good heart these days is hard to find. Jennifer/Ronon, inspired by the Feargal Sharkey song and complete for now .
1. Chapter 1

She didn't quite know when, exactly, she began to notice Ronon Dex.

It wasn't that she hadn't noticed him before, she had. Tall, dark and handsome with a side order of being intimidating as hell. The man would be hard to miss anywhere but it was completely impossible on Atlantis. So she'd noticed him around base, saw him with his teammates or alone, but she hadn't 'noticed him' noticed him.

So it had surprised her when one day a few weeks before she'd seen him walk into the infirmary with a gash on his chin and practically ran in the opposite direction. It had surprised her because she hadn't even realized she'd developed, it sounded so juvenile when she thought about it, a crush on the man. A man she'd barely spoken to except about medical matters. A man she knew next to nothing about. A man who she was currently blushing over while she kept her head buried in the medical file of a Marine she'd never treated. It was embarrassing and unprofessional and immature and she was going to stop the moment he left the infirmary.

"Doc?"

She stiffened slightly, he was talking to her? Jennifer mustered her courage and called up every ounce of professional within her before looking up, way up, into the face of Ronon Dex. She could do this, she really could, so she pushed down all thoughts of running her tongue all over his body from his toes to his arms - was that a cut?

"What happened - wait, don't answer that - sparring with Teyla?" she asked, immediately launching into 'doctor mode' at the sight of the wound on his left bicep. She grabbed his uninjured arm and steered him to a nearby bed before heading off to gather her supplies. "That's going to need stitches."

"That's what Teyla said."

They were silent as Jennifer cleaned the area before stitching up the wound. She tried to be especially gentle with him, even though she knew Ronon had a high tolerance for pain, because she didn't want to add any unnecessary hurt to his life. Maybe that made her too tenderhearted and maybe it was completely unprofessional but it was her nature and she wasn't about to change it now.

"There, all done," she said with a smile and a final touch to the bandage's edge. She was surprised at how at ease she now felt when only moments before she had been a blushing quivering mess.

"I won't tell you to take it easy - I know you're going off-world in a few hours," she said, her confidence rising as she dared a look into his eyes. It was a mistake. The sight of him looking at her with an intent expression on his face caused her heart to speed up and her face to heat. "Just be careful. With it. The bandage, I mean, don't get it wet because it'll fall off and you don't know what bacteria are living on that planet or who-"

The touch of his hand on her arm, his fingers barely gripping her wrist, stilled the avalanche of words coming out of her. She looked at his hand, large and strong, wondered where the man attached to it had been, what he had seen, who he was behind the scary façade. She took a breath before looking up once more, tearing her eyes away from his hand in order to meet his. But his eyes weren't waiting for hers, just the top of his head as he studied his hand on her wrist. He slid his hand over the top of hers, Jennifer's eyes now following its path, as he gently turned it over. Ronon ran his thumb over her palm once before letting go suddenly.

"Be there in a second. Sheppard needs me. Thanks Doc."

He was off the bed and halfway across the infirmary before Jennifer got herself together enough to respond. She had no idea what had just happened, her heart was hammering in her chest and she wasn't entirely sure she could move without collapsing in a heap on the floor. It was all so…unexpected, that was the word. First her unexpected attraction to the Satedan and now this completely unexpected moment. It was a moment, wasn't it?

It didn't matter if it was a moment or not, he was going off-world soon and she still had 4 hours left in her shift. No time to build castles in the sky, not when there were wounds and alien viruses to vanquish. So with a sigh and a roll of her shoulders, Jennifer pushed away her thoughts of Ronon and their maybe moment and focused on the work before her.

Five hours later found Jennifer exhausted and eating alone in the mess hall after Dr Beckett had forced her out of the infirmary, telling her that she was benched from active duty until her next shift. She barely tasted anything she ate, just put the food in her mouth and chewed out of habit. All she wanted to do at the moment was pull on her pajamas and climb into bed but, as tired as she was, her brain just wouldn't turn off so, instead, she sat and ate a meal she didn't taste in the mess hall.

It was a moment, she was sure of it. She had never had a moment before, had barely even had a boyfriend, but she was almost positive that it had been a moment in the infirmary with Ronon. She'd waited her whole life for that moment, had dreamed of it as a little girl. Stupid, romantic dreams she had thought as she'd grown older, too young to be invited out by her classmates, too smart for most boys her age to find attractive. So she'd let the childhood dreams go, had dated a safe boy for a time before focusing on medicine and her career.

She always thought she'd have time to find someone but being out here in another galaxy where the threat of death loomed large every day was starting to change her perspective. Maybe those dreams were foolish and overly romantic but maybe she would miss her chance at love, real love, if she didn't let herself still believe in the fairytale. Or maybe she was completely crazy and exhausted and focusing too much on a possible moment with Ronon.

Whatever it was, she wasn't going to get any answers tonight. Ronon wasn't even on base and it wasn't like she was about to march up to him and demand to know if they'd had a moment or not. So she stored it away - the memory, the feelings and her questions - and gathered her things. It was time to go to bed, things would be clearer in the morning as her father always said.


	2. Chapter 2

A week passed before Ronon returned to Atlantis and it was almost two weeks before Jennifer caught her first glimpse of the man since their possible moment in the infirmary.

Jennifer had the feeling, indistinct as it was, that Ronon was avoiding her. She had nothing solid to base this assumption on, just the feeling that something was off. It wasn't like they had spent tons of time together before, just the odd conversation while waiting for food in the mess hall and the times she had to patch him up, but she literally hadn't seen him since his return. No wounds, no sightings in the hall, nothing. She knew he was busy but this was just strange and it was disconcerting to think that Ronon was actively avoiding her.

So it came as a surprise and a relief to Jennifer when Ronon came into the infirmary almost two weeks after their maybe moment.

Of course it didn't look like he'd come willingly - it seemed that Sheppard would be dragging him by his dreads if he could get away with it - but he was there and Jennifer could barely stop the huge grin which spread across her face at the sight of him. He didn't look in her direction, seemed focused on glaring a hole in the back of Sheppard's head, as Ronon trailed along behind him and toward Dr Beckett.

Jennifer blushed and attempted to look busy when Beckett and Sheppard suddenly looked in her direction. She bent her head down, put all her concentration into sorting the supplies before her and prayed that her face didn't look as red as it felt.

"Dr Keller?" Beckett called from across the room and Jennifer slowly raised her head to look at him. Both him and Sheppard were looking at her, Sheppard with a huge and faintly creepy smile on his face, but Ronon was still glaring at his team leader as if it would be enough to stop whatever was going to happen next. "If you're not too busy at the moment, love, could you see to Ronon's stitches?"

She looked down at the swabs that were clenched in her hands, looked at Beckett and the two men standing beside him, before shrugging and letting the supplies fall to the table. "Sure, I'm not too busy."

"Thanks, it should only take you a moment."

"Yes, thanks Doc," said Sheppard with another smile before gesturing back at Ronon with an eye roll. "I found him alone in the gym, blood everywhere and absolutely refusing to come by to get stitched up. I thought we'd trained you better by now."

Ronon growled at that causing Sheppard to laugh before shoving the bigger man lightly forward and walking away. Ronon sat himself down on one of the infirmary beds - it was probably out of habit now more than anything - and waited while Jennifer gathered up her materials.

Maybe he was avoiding her - Ronon usually came to the infirmary on his own, even if it did sometimes take him a couple hours to get there. But completely refusing to come? That seemed excessive which was why Jennifer was starting to really worry. Maybe the moment wasn't actually a moment? Maybe he thought she was completely crazy and didn't want anything to do with her? Maybe he hated-

"Ow."

"What? Oh. Oh! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean, my head-"

"It's okay Doc, just pinched a little."

"Right, right, I'm sorry."

Jennifer didn't think it would be possible for her face to get any more red than it was at that very moment. There she'd been, floating about in her own little world and she'd practically stabbed Ronon while attempting to stitch him up. She felt like an intern again, her hands were shaking so badly. It wasn't a huge cut, although it was surprisingly deep, and Jennifer found herself impressed, if a little ticked off, at the amount of pain he must have endured in order to not stop by the infirmary.

She was not acting at all professional, that was the problem with her 'crush.' She thought back to when she had a crush on John Gallagher in 10th grade, how she'd blush and stammer and daydream at the thought of him. She also remembered, in the end, how he'd told her they made great friends before laughing about her "pathetic little crush" to all his friends. She'd made a promise to herself then: she'd never repeat the John Gallagher experience as long as she lived. She was 27, a respected doctor and a mature adult - she was not a schoolgirl with crushes anymore. Right?

"Right, well, you're all done here."

She watched as Ronon tilted his head to inspect the white bandage which currently adorned his right bicep. He patted it once, glanced at her and patted it again before sliding off the bed and turning to face her.

She could practically see the wheels turning in his head although his face remained impassive and she had no idea what he was actually thinking. She did know, however, that if he told her they made great friends or something equally lame and condescending, she'd puke. On him. Or at least in his general direction.

"Thanks."

"No problem - just try not to mess with the bandage too much."

"Right." He paused, seemed to turn over something in his mind, before beginning again. "So do you like it?"

"Like what?" asked Jennifer, completely confused.

"You know, being a doctor, stitching people up."

"I guess so, I mean, yes, I like it most of the time. Why?"

"Why what?" asked Ronon, tilting his head slightly.

"Why do you ask?"

"Oh, I was just, well, Sheppard, I mean, I just thought I'd ask," he finally ground out with what sounded like a sigh at the end.

"Right."

"Right." He paused again, seemed to consider his next words as he studied her face, and Jennifer watched, fascinated, as the man she always thought of as being calm and collected appeared to be actually fidgeting where he stood. "I'd better go - training session."

"Have fun, I guess." He smiled at that, a genuine warm grin which seemed to encompass his whole face.

"I will. You're done here at 6, right?"

"Yes."

"Alright, see you later." With that he walked off, leaving Jennifer stunned and confused in the middle of the infirmary.


	3. Chapter 3

The next few hours crawled along in a haze of questions for Jennifer.

What did he mean by 'see you later'? 'Later' as in that day or 'later' as in some undetermined time in the future? And why did he ask if she liked being a doctor? And what did Sheppard have to do with anything? Sheppard didn't like her, did he?

The steady stream of questions, which seemed to grow more ridiculous as time passed - was Ronon trying to kill her? - was starting to give Jennifer a headache. Ronon Dex seemed to have a talent for putting her completely off-balance and then disappearing before she could right herself.

When 6 o'clock finally rolled around, Jennifer felt like her whole body was dancing on pins and needles. He did ask her what time her shift ended and then told her he'd see her later - that had to mean something, didn't it? Maybe he'd stop by the infirmary? So she waited, going over lab reports and patient files but he didn't appear. When 7 o'clock came and went, Marie ordered her out of the infirmary, "you can't live here," she'd said, and Jennifer found herself listening to the nurse and gathering her things with a heavy heart.

It was embarrassing. She'd dragged out her day, waited for him to appear, hoped he thought of her the same way she thought about him. She could have kicked herself for all the castles she built for the two of them - him showing an interest in her work did not mean he had feelings for her. He was being friendly, probably thought she was awkward and alone, and Sheppard probably nudged him into talking to her. She was an idiot - a man like Ronon Dex would never take an interest in her.

She headed to the mess hall out of habit, her body telling her it was time to eat while her mind ran unchecked over how immature she'd been acting. She grabbed food - something that appeared to be pasta along with a water and a cookie - before finally allowing herself to really see what was in front of her.

The mess hall was crowded, filled with people who had just gotten off work or who were about start their shifts, and there were barely any seats free. She saw an empty table in the back corner and headed over. She threw a smile at Evan as she passed him regaling a table of Marines with a story about the Wraith and she attempted to ignore Ronon - why hadn't she noticed him immediately? - as he sat with his team.

She ducked her head down further at the sight of him and hurried forward with her tray, arriving at the table just as it was occupied by two arguing technicians. 'Perfect,' she thought as she turned away, the men barely noticing her as they continued to debate the significance of some alien technology. She scanned the crowded room, her eyes skipping past Ronon's table, before landing on the empty chairs at, unsurprisingly, Dr Edwards' table. She sighed softly before steeling herself for a meal filled with endless chatter about his cat on Earth and hay fever.

It was a large and familiar body which stopped Jennifer from joining the doctor. She looked up at Ronon, felt her traitorous skip a beat when their eyes met, and waited. He grabbed her tray without a word and motioned with his head toward his table before walking away, forcing Jennifer to follow along behind him.

"Um, Ronon?" asked Jennifer as they wove between tables. He just grunted in reply, his acknowledging grunt she assumed, and looked back at her briefly. "What are you doing?"

"You're eating with me," he said before placing her tray on the table and pulling out a chair. He sat himself in the next chair and started back in on his food as Jennifer stood awkwardly beside him. "Sit."

"Quite the manners you've got their big guy," laughed Sheppard, his eyes flicking rapidly between Ronon and a very shocked Jennifer as she sunk into the chair.

"Hello Jennifer, we're glad you could join us," said Teyla with a warm smile. Rodney just waved at her briefly, his eyes and mind clearly focused on the tablet before him and the jello in his hand. Jennifer just nodded at them as she watched Ronon eat out of the corner of her eye. What on earth was going on? "John was just telling us a story-"

"An inane, offensively boring story," interrupted McKay before he returned once more to his work.

"John was telling us a story about one of the latest missions - it seems they were attacked by some sort of…housecat."

"At least that's how McConnell described them…"

Jennifer listened with only half an ear to Sheppard's story about the housecat. She instead focused her attention on the team's interactions - Teyla's encouraging smiles, Ronon's grunts, McKay's eye rolls and Sheppard's easy manners. It was warm and friendly and comfortable - it was nice and Jennifer wished, once again, that she could be a part of something like that.

She was startled out of her thoughts by a gentle nudge to her arm. She turned her head, past Sheppard and Teyla's smiles, to find Ronon's face less than a foot away, a questioning expression in place. His whole upper body was turned to her, his arm stretched across the table and his hand fingering the edge of her tray.

"What?" she asked, blushing as she cast her eyes down to focus on Ronon's arm along the table. Sheppard snorted softly, earning him a sharp elbow to the ribs from Teyla, and Jennifer felt her face flame even more. Ronon didn't seem to notice and she watched his eyes as they traveled slowly across her face before focusing on his hand.

"You going to eat this?" he said, holding up the cookie from her tray.

"Um, I guess not," Jennifer answered, mildly relieved that it was nothing more.

"Don't give it to him, Doc."

"John," scolded Teyla, her smile telling everyone that she only half meant it.

"What? Give Ronon food once and he'll be scavenging from you for the rest of your life. Why don't you just take more food to begin with? Then you wouldn't have to steal from other people."

"Cooks gave me a limit on how much food I could take per meal," Ronon shrugged before inhaling the cookie in two bites.

"Well, I guess the good doctor will have to remember more food for next time."

Next time? Jennifer didn't think she could survive a next time, the way she was blushing and how fast her heart was racing at just being near Ronon.

"Good idea. Maybe at dinner tomorrow you could get two cookies?"


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Considering whether this is the end or not... So, tentative last chapter with possibly more coming (don't get your hopes up too much though, haha).**

It became routine over the next couple of weeks for Jennifer to eat with Ronon and his team when they were all on-base.

They ate together whenever they were free - breakfast before her shift, a quick lunch here and there, dinner at the end of a long day. At first she'd been unsure and hesitant about approaching them, usually going to find her own table before Ronon would silently appear and grab her tray, leaving Jennifer to follow behind him. After a few meals, however, Jennifer became confident enough to approach them without hesitation and place her tray down. Her spot was unofficially next to Ronon, the chair always unoccupied when she got to the table, and she found herself settling quickly, and enjoyably, into the easy rhythm of the team.

The only problem with this friendly new development? It wasn't what Jennifer wanted in the slightest and she didn't know how to change things without upsetting their easy balance. It wasn't that she didn't like the team or that she didn't want to spend time with them, she did, but she wanted to spend time more with Ronon. Getting to know him. Alone. As it stood, she barely got to hear two words out of his mouth before Sheppard would launch into a story or McKay would start to complain about something one of the other scientists did in the lab.

What made it all worse? Ronon didn't seem to have a problem with any of it and it was driving her crazy.

She'd sense these moments happening, catch him watching her out of the corner of her eye or find him appearing to figure out how to put something into words, and she'd be so sure that he was finally going to say something, do something. He never did though and she'd find herself once more cycling back through those helpless feelings of insecurity and uncertainty. Were they friends? Did he have feelings for her? Was she just making something out of nothing? It wasn't fair - she wanted to get the guy, just once, and either Ronon thought of her as just a friend or he was, and she couldn't believe she was even thinking it, scared of making a move too. Ronon Dex was never scared though, right?

It didn't matter at that moment, however, as Jennifer quickly scanned the nearly deserted mess hall. It was too late for dinner and too early for a midnight snack for most people so Jennifer found herself facing the prospect of having to eat alone for the first time in weeks. Maybe she shouldn't have stuck around to finish going over those test results long past the end of her shift but she hadn't wanted to stop in the middle of solving the problem so she'd stuck it out, ignoring her grumbling stomach and thoughts of Ronon. She sighed to herself, not that there was anyone else there to hear it, before placing her tray down and settling in for a silent meal.

The appearance of a familiar hand grabbing her tray startled Jennifer, to say the least. She jumped slightly in her chair, hand flying to her chest, before she even thought of looking to see where Ronon was going. She caught sight of his strong back out of the corner of her eye and hurried to catch up with him as he strode across the mess hall toward the secluded tables in the back along the windows. He settled himself down opposite where he placed his tray, not looking to see if she'd followed him, and dug into his own tray which was piled high with food.

"What happened to the cooks' food limit?" asked Jennifer after she settled herself into her new seat across from Ronon. She noted, with some satisfaction, that they seemed to be alone and she couldn't help but wonder why he was eating at this strange hour. It wasn't because of her, was it?

"Said I could help myself since not many more people would be coming through for dinner," he shrugged as he attacked his king-size portion of what appeared to be some sort of meat in sauce.

"Right. So, where's the rest of the team?" Jennifer rolled her eyes at her own comment, 'yes, make the gorgeous single man you're crazy about think you don't want to spend time alone with him', before casting her eyes back onto her own meal.

"They ate earlier, invited me along." He paused and looked at her, his eyes focused on the top of her bent head, and Jennifer held her breath. "I thought I'd wait for you instead."

Her head shot up at that and she glanced quickly into his eyes, a smile breaking unbidden across her face. He'd waited? For her? It all felt a little too unreal, a moment from a movie come to life. She wasn't entirely sure how to respond - what did one say to that? - so she instead just nodded, her cheeks burning. Ronon Dex waited for her. Unbelievable.

"I didn't want you to eat alone."

"What?"

"When you didn't come by at the end of your shift, I thought you'd eat later," he rushed on, the uncharacteristic flow of words holding Jennifer hostage. "So I thought I'd wait around, since I was free, and eat with you. So you wouldn't be alone. When you ate."

He seemed…nervous, uncertain maybe, and she had to bite down on her bottom lip in order to stop the pleased giggle from escaping. She, Jennifer Keller, made Ronon Dex, possible god among men, nervous. It was an absurd and, at the same time, welcome development in her life and she allowed herself to relish the moment and the memory.

"Thank you, that was very sweet of you." She laughed at his slight grimace at the use of the word 'sweet' to describe him and she reached over to pat the top of his hand comfortingly. "It's okay, I promise I won't tell anyone. You can be…"

Her words trailed off at the movement of his hand under hers, the sudden turn so their hands lay palm to palm. She started to slide hers away, the crackle of electricity between them almost too much to bear, but he stopped her escape by closing his fingers gently around hers. They there for a moment, both looking at their clasped hands, the stark contrast and the way they fit so well together, before Ronon turned back to his food, Jennifer's hand still firmly in his.

"I like your laugh," he mumbled between bites and Jennifer felt herself blush at the unexpected compliment. He looked at her and smiled, his eyes wandering her face. "And I really like your blush."

"Thanks," she replied, her face flushing further.

They ate quietly then, hands locked together, the silence only interrupted by a short conversation about their days. She found she didn't mind the silence, didn't feel the need to fill it although she knew Ronon would really listen to every last word she'd say. It was comfortable, like they'd known each other forever, although every twitch of his hand would send a shockwave through her body as a reminder that they weren't too comfortable yet. She could get used to this, live like this, the heat and calm between them a tempting mixture.

"Done?" he asked later, eying the lone cookie that sat on her tray.

"It's all yours," Jennifer laughed, not at all surprised when Ronon swiped it with barely a pause. "I think you've made me develop a new habit - always get extra food in case Ronon is nearby."

"Good habit to have," he said with a smile. He got up from his chair and crossed over to stand beside her before tugging her lightly out of her chair. He stacked their trays and grabbed both, never letting go of her hand, and they crossed the mess hall together to drop them off to be cleaned. "I'll walk you to your quarters."

"Okay," said Jennifer, looking down quickly in embarrassment.

She was a grown woman, that was her mantra, and she found herself silently repeating it as they walked through the corridors of Atlantis hand in hand. They didn't pass many people, it was a in-between time on the base, but those they did pass looked twice at the unexpected pair and Jennifer knew that news of their journey would be all around the base by morning. Ronon didn't seem to notice, just kept looking down at Jennifer once in awhile and smiling, but Jennifer did notice and she could feel her face burning bright red. Stupid blush, stupid too small base, stupid gossip.

"We're here."

She looked up and around, surprised to be standing in front of her own door since she hadn't even noticed how they'd gotten there, before resting her eyes on Ronon. Now what? It hadn't been a date, not really, but, then again, how exactly did one date an alien on an intergalactic expedition. Did he expect to be invited in? Did he think she'd put out? Should she put out? What were the rules in this type of situation?

"You should get some rest - night Jen." He tugged her hand lightly, pulled her into his chest, before wrapping his free arm around her back. He placed a slow gentle kiss on the top of her head before releasing her from his grasp and taking a half-step to the side to let her pass.

She took a step forward and stopped, turning to look at him. He looked down at her, a soft smile on his face, and, for the first time in a long time, Jennifer didn't have any doubts. So it was too soon and too crazy and too not her. It didn't matter. Ronon was strong and handsome but, more than that, he was kind and honorable, the childhood dream come to life. He had a good heart, a heart which he seemed to be offering to her, and Jennifer was unwilling to lose it.

So she tugged him toward her, closed her eyes as she reached up to him on the tips of her toes, and placed a soft kiss to his lips. It wasn't much, a mere pressing of lips to lips, but it was a promise of more, a promise of a future if he wanted it. She opened her eyes, their faces just a breath apart, and looked into his green ones with a smile.

"Want to come inside?" she asked, brushing his nose with hers. He didn't say anything, didn't need to, just bent forward and claimed her lips with his own as he lifted her up and carried her inside, the sound of Jennifer laughter echoing through the empty hall behind them.


End file.
